Has anyone lost a pet ferret? We saw one outside the pub last night but it escaped while we were trying to trap it in a box. The bonhomie is shot through with a very British eccentricity. No sooner does a buyer advertise for a gardener or window cleaner than a willing seller comes along. The milk of human kindness is thickened by the magic of the market.

When not looking after animals, my neighbours busy themselves looking after each other – doing shopping, gardening and heavy lifting for people who are too old or infirm to do it themselves. Ducks are apparently the most monogamous of creatures. A particularly touching post asks if anyone has a spare female duck to hand: we hatched a pair of ducks last year, the writer informs us, but the female has died, leaving the male utterly bereft and wandering the garden looking for her. Dogs are the neighbourhood’s top concern, followed by cats and horses, but more exotic creatures also get a look in, including injured birds, unhappy hedgehogs and dumpy pigeons. The two recurring themes are animals and philanthropy. The first impression of Nextdoor is delightful. I had always thought that villages were havens in a heartless world – places where the old virtues of trust and forgiveness flourished. But I have nevertheless been forced to re-examine a few of my more optimistic assumptions (and there weren’t many of those in the first place). I haven’t noticed any murders or dismemberment. I have also entertained myself in lockdown by watching my neighbours go about their business – less with binoculars than by using a smartphone app called Nextdoor which, according to the bumf, does for neighbours what Facebook does for friends (“hyperlocal social networking”).

Watch neighbors from hell